How To Be More Assertive

What is
assertiveness'

Four styles

Rights and
responsibilities

Positive beliefs

Being direct

Expressing
disagreement constructively

Managing the other
person's behaviour
by enforcing
a process

Building rapport

Focusing on facts

Focusing on
consequences

Stopping put-down
behaviour

Text Book Techniques

Personal
action planning

Positive Beliefs

How To Be More Assertive: Part 4

What you believe has a major impact on your behaviour, and your assertiveness.

Here are some examples of unassertive beliefs:

• "If someone refuses a request, it means they don't like me"
  
  
• "They won't want to do that, so I won't ask"
  
  
• "My needs are not as important as other peoples"
  
  
• "I have no right to ask"
  
  
• "I'd rather give in and avoid the conflict"
  
  
• "If I ask, they'll think I'm being rude or bossy"

Here are some examples of aggressive beliefs:

• "People should always do what I ask"
  
  
• "A refusal is an attack on me personally"
  
  
• "My needs are more important than others'"
  
  

What negative beliefs inhibit your assertiveness:

Here are some examples of positive beliefs:

• "We may be at different levels in the organisation, but as people we both have rights & a right to our beliefs"
  
  
• "If we both express our views, we can then explore ways of both getting what we want"
  
  
• "I'll listen to what you have to say, and I'll expect you to listen to what I have to say"

What positive beliefs do you need to develop to become more assertive'