Focus on Consequences
How To Be More Assertive: Part 10
This technique involves informing the other person about the consequences, or potential consequences, of their actions or statements. This might include tangible outcomes, or your personal feelings.
This technique can be particularly useful when dealing with your manager.
However, informing of consequences on their own can have a negative impact. And if the consequences are manufactured, it can sound like a threat.
Make sure your consequences are real.
It is also very important to state what the person could do to change the consequences. Eg:
"By giving me this information now, I have to work late to get the report to the client. Next week, if you provide me the information by Friday lunchtime I'll be able to go home on time."
I'm upset by the way you criticised me in that meeting. In future, if you have a problem with my work, could you please tell me in our one-to-one meetings.
I'm responsible for the management of safety standards in this area, and I've asked you three times to tidy up that cabling across the floor. If you don't get it sorted someone might trip over, and have an accident. Either sort it now, or tape off the area so no one can go into it, and then no one will get hurt.
Under what type of circumstances would it be legitimate to tell someone that, in the absence of certain actions, you will start disciplinary proceedings'
How To Be More Assertive:
Part 11: Stop Put-Down Behaviour