How To Be More Assertive

What is
assertiveness'

Four styles

Rights and
responsibilities

Positive beliefs

Being direct

Expressing
disagreement constructively

Managing the other
person's behaviour
by enforcing
a process

Building rapport

Focusing on facts

Focusing on
consequences

Stopping put-down
behaviour

Text Book Techniques

Personal
action planning

Building Rapport

How To Be More Assertive: Part 8

It is easier to get what you need from someone (and to find out what they need) if you have a good rapport with someone. That involves:

• Using active listening skills to hear what they are saying.
  
  
• Making empathetic statements, that demonstrate you understand their situation and needs.
  
  
• Asking them questions about their views, or the problems they see, or the reservations they have
  
  
• Finding things that you have in common and talking about them
  
  
• Dealing with them face to face (not by telephone or email) and looking them in the eye
  
  
• Taking an interest in the whole person, and their wider interests, not just their work or the task they are currently working on.

Building rapport is analogous to strengthening a bridge over a river: the stronger the bridge, the more it can carry. That is, the better rapport that you have in a relationship with someone, the more you can ask of them.